The truth can hurt. The truth may not be what you want to hear. The truth can be contrary to your expectations.
Our parents taught us always to tell the truth. We are taught in John 8:32: “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Should we filter people from the truth? If so, when? When someone tells you that you should be open and honest, should you really tell them the truth? The bigger question is whether the other person is truly ready to hear the truth. If not, then you may be dismissed as being pessimistic, negative, a drag on others, having your own agenda, and so on.
It is only when we are open to the truth and prepared to hear the truth that it truly can set us free. This doesn’t mean that you should always just blurt out what’s on your mind, even if it is the truth. There is a time and a place to speak the truth, and the manner in which you deliver it plays an extremely important role. However, when you are debating ideas, there should be room for the truth. If you do not believe so, then do not enter into debates or conversations where you may not hear what you want to hear.
If you only want to hear something that confirms your own opinions, then there are plenty of people who will be fake, disingenuous and tell you what you want to hear. You must understand that if someone disagrees with you and believes that they are speaking the truth that they are not being critical or negative or unsupportive of your cause. They are simply telling you things the way that they see them.
If you do not agree or do not understand, then ask for clarification. Dig deeper. Foster further discussion. Try to understand where the other person is coming from and the logic behind their thoughts. Even though the person is speaking the truth, very few things in life are black and white. You may not agree, and you may have a completely different point of view that you believe to be the truth. If the issue is a critical issue that creates an impasse in your relationship, in your project or in your ability to work together, then take extra time to work together to try to come to a common understanding where you can agree to disagree.
It’s amazing how many times I have heard comments about people who speak a truth that the listener may not want to hear (or may not agree with). All too often they are referred to as negative, pessimistic, not a team-player, etc. Most of the time, however, this is not the case. It is simply that the two people were not on the same page during the discussion.
What is even worse is when this encounter happens, and the person who doesn’t want to hear the truth being spoken then goes on to tell others that the other person is negative, etc. We all have to understand that in a pluralistic society that has been built on the right for people to express themselves freely that we have to learn that a comment that may seem contrary to the direction we are heading does not mean that the person is being negative or may not want to achieve the same goal. There are many paths to the truth, and many times each of us will take our own path to come to the same conclusion eventually. And if we don’t, that’s OK too since that is what makes us all individuals.
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